ang di matawa panget

 

 

Bopol
Isang pasyente ang dumating sa klinika ni Doctor Paking.
TORKO: “Doctor, natatandaan n’yo pa ba ako?”
DOCTOR: “Parang nakita na kita.”
TORKO: “Ako ho iyong pasyente ninyo last year.”
…DOCTOR: “Ikaw nga! Ano ba ang maipaglilingkod ko?”
TORKO: “Itatanong ko ho sana sa inyo kung puwede na akong maligo?

 

dey wer besfren sins childhud.fe kip secret of her lov 4 macoy, yrs passed dey separated ways but she was hoping he wud comebak.after 9yrs, her prayers wer answered,she got a msg ,”fe,i hav a surprise,i’m coming bak, lov macoy”, fe waited at d airport but he did’nt arrive,then a sexy lady said,”hi i’m lyn,fren of macoy,i hav a badnews,macoy is dead. tears fell from fe’s eyes.then the lady smiled.gagah!!.i’ts me macoy!

 

HEARING AID

Nakabili ng hearing Aid si Botski.

Botski: Pare nakabili ako ng gamot para sa Bingi.

Totski: Anu pangalan ng gamot pare?

Botski: Hearing Aid daw.

Totski: San mo binili?

Botski: Kahapon Lang!

MISNOMER

Man:  I think the English name “Eggplant” for our talong is a misnomer.

Woman: Why?

Man:  Because it doesn’t look like an egg.  Its name should be changed!

Woman: What name would you want it changed to?

Man: “Neighbor of the Egg Plant”!

ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES

Q: Pano mo malalaman na may “tangang” pumasok sa loob ng sabungan?
A: Ang dalang panabong ay “itik”.
Q: Pano mo malalaman na may “inutil” sa loob ng sabungan?
A: Pag may pumusta sa itik!
Q: E pano mo malalaman na nasa loob ng sabungan si FG Mike Arroyo?
A: PAG NANALO YUNG ITIK !!

OPERATOR PLEASE

Bagong salta sa America, yung Pinoy ay gustong mag-long distance sa Pilipinas kaya dinayal yung “0 for Operator”.
Operator: AT&T. How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.
Operator: Name of the party you’re calling?
Pinoy: Aybegyurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?
Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu and sori. Da nname of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel. Sori and tenkyu.
Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you’re calling phonetically.
Pinoy:Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I will spell his name foneticali. Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in lpidio, p as in pidio, i as in idio, d as in dio, i as in io and o as in o.
Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenkyu. Abanquel: A as in Airport, B as in Because, A as in Airport agen, N as in… Enemy, Q as in… Cuba, U as in… Europe, E as in… Important and L as in… Elephant.

CLOCK IN HEAVEN

May isang bata pumunta sa heaven at nakita niya si San pedro nagbabantay sa labas ng gate at pinapasok siya at maraming orasan nakadikit sa pader at tinanong ng bata si San Pedro

bata: San pedro bakit po ang daming orasan dito sa Heaven

San pedro: kasi ang orasan na yan ay mga ginagawa ng tao kung may nagawang siyang kasalanan gagalaw iyan

bata: ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at hindi ito gumagalaw)

bata: San Pedro bakit hindi ito gumagalaw

San Pedro: dahil Madre iyan

bata: ah ok (tinignan niya ang isang orasan at mabagal itong gumalaw)

bata: San pedro bakit po ito ang bagal gumalaw

san pedro: dahil mabait siya hindi siya gaanong nagkakasala

bata: ah ok teka muna nasaan yung kay ate glo

San Pedro: ah kay Gloria na kay Jesus. Ginagawang Electric Fan